I’m sorry – that sounds like a very frustrating situation probably for you both . I guess I would wonder how long you’ve been together and if things of changed radically in recent weeks/months compared to the early part of the relationship.
Personally I have felt like my boyfriends past frequent masturbation most definitely got in the way of our sexual relationship. Although he seemed to be a little on comfortable with me mentioning for suggesting that he not do that frequently, I explained to him that I have heard that it can change your sensitivity. It can make sex with an actual person (you!!) less pleasurable. After he moved in with me and did less of that (I guess), things improved. I felt as if I was not as desirable as I was in the early part of the relationship because I’m older than he is and I have gained some weight . My sharing my feelings about this helped him to open up about his own recent sexual feelings. he reassured me that I was a sexy as ever and he was still very much attracted to me . However, perhaps because we’re older, there was is an ED issue. we are trying to work through time and issues around out now and that is our current challenge.
I encourage you to ask him what it would take for him to feel more romantic toward you and for him to accept by that him excluding you it’s hurtful and is eroding your overall relationship .