Thank you so much for the kind words. I had forgotten this post. My life has not changed much other than I am more accepting of my situation and I do see the people around me that although different from me, care and have not abandoned me because of my differences. I recently connected with a woman friend but we are too far apart in age and I know it is not right for me. But what it did do was remind me how much I love feeling a warm embrace and passionate kiss. The feeling of intimate contact and acceptance. I have done better with my flare ups but they are still there. Took a seminar today and will start every morning with meditation and envisioning a day of positive joy. And decided to never give up trying to identify my triggers and training myself to take and action that will stop my escalations. If you ever make it to Tampa I would be happy to meet you. Seems like we might have a chance to understand each other. I hope all is moving in the right direction for you. And I understand your point of not wanting to be like everyone else. I feel the same. But I would still like to feel like I belong and am accepted.