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Hi mcleodbf1,
Thank you for your reciprocal response to my post, and well done for starting the meditation practice.
I’m glad you at least had some contact with someone and were reminded of what that’s like. I almost did recently, but, like in your case there was a large age difference (he’s a lot younger), and most definitely not right for me, even though at first it seemed that we had things in common. It has been many years for me since I have been close to anyone, so I strongly considered succumbing to his overtures but, and this is the reason that I am doing the uncomfortable thing of talking about this particular thing: The conversations and texts were utterly unsatisfying. Is that because of my Asperger’s? I think it likely that that is a big factor. (I could and probably should expound here, but I will leave that for now.) No matter how hard I tried to really communicate (and I probably tried too hard) it was clear that there was no good understanding between us – no meeting of the minds, and hence no growing of any sort of non-physical closeness that to me has been an essential precursor to anything physical (well, in the last number of years anyway – in which nothing has happened for me romantically or physically:). For decades I was unaware of my fundamental differences and very naively entered into relationships that weren’t right for me. None were right for me. I look back on my life, so clearly alone now, but also so very very alone in the relationships I was in.
That is not at all encouraging, is it 🙂 For me now, any connection in any way to anyone who is similar to me or may understand me is so valuable, but so difficult to find. Even this exchange of words is significant to me.