I am so sorry to see that you didn’t get a response from anyone, and I hope you have found support elsewhere. I just found this website via a Facebook support group in which a member sang Kenneth’s praises.
Your question re diagnosis is surely tricky. People fall on so many parts of the spectrum of autism… and can have features of a personality disorder without being full blown narcissists or sociopaths. Some AS people have features of narcissism… that I have known. Others are serial cheaters in marriage. But most are very kind and bright in the outside world and it is in the intimate relationship- as it is with Neuro-typical people – that the edgier elements arise. In my estimation many people are difficult to live with and long term intimacy requires at least one partner who is committed to growth, even if their partner is stuck. There are wonderful books out there for ‘Aspergers in Love’ couples, workbooks and such.
I hope you have found a support network!
Adult Asperger’s Syndrome: The Essential Guide
Do you have Asperger’s Syndrome or know someone who does? Are you looking for a reference guide about Asperger’s in adults? Do you have questions you’d like to ask an expert in adult Asperger’s? If your answer is Yes to any of these questions, this book is for you.